People often say that we must look at the positive and brighter side of things. Today, I am here to highlight how you; can find miracles in the negativity around you.
Qs: Is it necessary that one should go through a fire like a bad accident or loss to realise the value of the small and miraculous things?
Ans: I would never wish that for anybody. What I would rather have is without those kinds of catastrophes, you start to appreciate things more. You start to notice things more. The whole point of my teaching is to touch at least one person’s life. If I can explain to them that without the disasters or the large things that slap you awake, you can actually see the miracles. You don’t have to go through the drastic moments.
Qs: What can people do if they are finding it difficult to find those miraculous things?
Ans: A lot of people struggle with the small things. There are people who have a really hard life or it just hits them so hard that they fall flat on their back. I have a lot of respect for people that are dealt the tough cards. I have absolute respect for people that work hard day in and day out to change circumstances, to become better.
I feel each one of us is capable of appreciating the small things. I push everyone to do that. Think about the fact that there are people out there that cannot see the sunrise and then there are people who can but don’t.
One of the biggest phenomena that has happened is that we are so armed with our phones that instead of seeing what is happening, we are busy clicking pictures of it. Instead of actually paying attention to what is now, we think we should store it away for future memory.
How many times have you seen beautiful things and just taken pictures instead of giving them importance? How many times have you kept a record of it and how many times have you actually looked at it? How many times have you taken pictures of sunsets and gone back to admire how amazing it was? Almost never.
I am guilty of the same. How about we go and actually just look at the sunset? You know our own memory is so much better than that of a computer. If you just stand and look at a sunset, you’re more likely to remember it than by revisiting a picture. We forget that. That is how we forget to spot the small miracles.
I am not telling you to go out and win a million dollars. If you do, that’s fantastic. Share it with me. What I am saying is, appreciate the money you have. Appreciate the family and friends you have now. Even if you have one or two friends, that is more than most people do. If you have a toxic family, appreciate the fact that you still have that affection. You still have a roof over your head. You can figure out that this is not working. You have the intelligence to understand that this is toxicity.
Qs: How do you convert your regrets into miracles?
Ans: People spend way too much time trying to define regrets and invest even more time and energy, living in regrets. Do I regret some of my behaviour, the way I have treated other people? Yes, that is not just my regret, it is my remorse. It is a part of the process in becoming a much better human being by learning how to be much more self-aware. It is a part of growing as a person.
Do I have regrets about some of the things that have happened? Do I wish that some things wouldn’t have happened? Like my parents would not have passed away? Yes, but then I also look at this way ; what if my parents would have lived and would have suffered? I have had so many people tell me that their parents suffered so much. If you look at it, my father passed away with a smile on his face.
So, I don’t regret the things that happened in my life. I look back at them as the fact that something good must be there. It’s just that I am not observant enough to see it at that time. When my parents passed away, I couldn’t see anything nice or remotely good about it.
Now, a decade later I realise what my mother on her death-bed said. That ‘don’t have a tug-of-war with God. Let me go peacefully.’
Now I understand what she meant. That she shouldn’t suffer. I think I would have regretted doing the tug-of-war. So, are there things in life that we regret? I think there is more remorse. Maybe we have become better human beings and more self-aware. We now know that we could do better and so we should do better.
Qs: Does failure play a part in the way you regret or remorse?
Ans: If you really want to change your life, then you have to change your perspective. What do you really consider failure? Is it based on the fact that you wanted a certain result and that outcome did not come through? What exactly is your definition? For instance, some people would have said that if I wouldn’t have fought for my parents, then maybe I would have failed as a daughter, but that is exactly what my parents wanted. It was what they knew was the right choice for them. The fact that they shouldn’t have to go through the suffering.
The doctor told my mother that the only option left was a ventilator. My mother refused. He said that he was legally bound to follow her instructions. My mother felt that was good and exactly what he should do. So, some people’s definition may be that I failed as a daughter. I know that I did what my conscience told me to do. Do I have regrets or remorse about it? Well, I miss my parents terribly. I talk about them all the time. I feel that failures, remorse, and regrets as words have become overrated. If we do not get what we desire, we automatically label it as a regret, failure or remorse. I don’t think that everything that does not work out is a bad thing.
For instance, when people hear or talk about my car accident; they say that it is such a horrible thing, but do you realise that when we talk about miracles or the appreciation of small things; you wouldn’t be reading this if I hadn’t had my car accident? My future and life would have been absolutely different if I hadn’t had my car accident. I would have pursued a completely different career path. I would have remained in the United States. I would have worked in a different way, met different people and I would never have the opportunity to put my work out there for you to read.
Even each one of you that are reading this blog, have found it some-how somewhere in a very different way. There is no straight line to miracles. There is no straight line to success and failure. What you consider a failure, I might see as an experience. What I call a success may be average for some other people.
All these words that we use to label our experiences have become so overrated because that is where we box ourselves in. We can’t move out. So, what does it even mean that we are a failure? The first thing we want to do if we want to appreciate the small things and focus on the miracles of life, we need to stop labeling. We need to stop labeling things as a success or a failure or remorse or regret. Just do better.
Do better each and every day. Do better to a point that you are doing something good, learning something new, and becoming something. Becoming the best version of yourself.
